Size Does Matter...when it comes to the heroine

One of the things that irritates the heck out of me is skinny bitches.  Not so much real people, because real people tend to have redeeming qualities I can relate to and make them more human in my eyes.  Not so with characters in books.  You see, at a size 12 on the bottom and XL on top, I'm not exactly skinny myself.  I'm not humongous or grotesque, just have a little extra padding in the middle (and the XL on top is all in the right places, baby!).  Having four kids will do that to you.  So a lot of time, I have a difficult time relating to the heroine in some stories, especially romantic ones, where she's all skin and bones and boobs.  Well, I can relate to the boobs part, but not so much the rest.

I don't know why this is such a problem with me.  I can always relate the hero to my husband (yeah, I'm a sap like that.  I like to see myself as the heroine and him as the hero), even when the hero is tall, blond, and has brown eyes, none of which describes my honey.  Somehow, my brain makes it work.  I guess I'm just harder on myself or something.

Every now and then, a heroine comes along that I can relate to, because, apparently in this case, size does matter.  One such character is Glory St. Claire of the "Real Vampires" series by Gerry Bartlett.  This series is wonderful and I'm not just saying that because I'm pretty sure Ms. Bartlett will be reading this and I'm trying to suck up so ultimately she'll write Glory as ending up with the fella I want her to be with (GO RAFE!).  It isn't dark or deep or anything like that, but it is fun and fresh and I count down until each new book is released because I can't wait until I see what this slightly larger lady is up to next.  Here is the series to date in correct reading order (blurbs blatantly stolen from Amazon, since Amazon and I are conspiring in the hopes that you will buy these books): 

Real Vampires Have Curves:  Plus-sized vampire Glory St. Claire has a new business venture and an old, on-off boyfriend. Blade wants to protect her from the techno-freak vampire hunter stalking the streets of Austin, but it's time for Glory to explore her own powers.

Real Vampires Live Large: It's not easy to keep a boyfriend, run a business, and survive for centuries as one of the immortal undead. Glory St. Clair knows-ever since a sexy Scottish vampire bit her while she was a tad...bloated. But when a frustrated vampire hunter firebombs her vintage clothing boutique, she's ready to pitch a fit. Then her long-time, part-time lover takes off in a rage to hunt the hunter and prove himself worthy of her. And that's only the beginning of her troubles.

The Energy Vampires want her-and not in a good way. They're paranormal drug dealers, selling thrills to those who've lived for ages, been everywhere, and done everything...and they want to suck Glory dry. But it'll take more than a few super-suckers to get the goods out of her.

Real Vampires Get Lucky:  When a female loan shark named Lucky is attacked and left for dead, vampire Glory St. Clair turns her into one of the undead to save her––but eternity would have been safer without her. Vamps prefer a low profile, and that’s not Lucky’s style. She prefers to flaunt her sexy rock-star ex-boyfriend and great shoes. Trouble is, her flamboyant behavior is not only drawing every vampire hunter within miles— it’s bringing her would-be killer out of hiding, too.

Real Vampires Don't Diet: Gloriana St. Claire-curvy, stylish, and undead-is spending New Year's Eve alone. And it's all because her boyfriend, Jeremy Blade, is traipsing off to parts unknown to rescue his supposed daughter from the clutches of "dangerous radicals." But just as Glory settles in for the evening, a phone call from the bodyguard of a drunk, newly-undead rock star could end her year on a crazy note.

Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs: Glory St. Clair loves soaking up Hollywood's vampire nightlife with her sexy Scottish lover, Jeremiah. Especially when she meets a vampire/ diet guru who promises to give her the body she's wanted for centuries. One problem: his clan and Jeremiah's are ancient enemies. But Glory's not about to let a stupid family feud come between her and slender bliss. Yet, she can't help but wonder...how much is she willing to risk for her hips? And how much (and precisely what) is she willing to lose?

Real Vampires Have More to Love:  Glory St. Clair is a vampire with man trouble. Between her on-again, off-again lover Jeremy Blade, smoking hot rock star Ray Caine, and former bodyguard turned apartment mate Valdez, there's enough man-candy around to make even a gal with a liquid diet feel a sugar rush.

Glory's got no time to enjoy it, though, considering that she's in the middle of planning her best friend's wedding. And let's not forget that there happens to be a hit on her head, thanks to when she took out a techno-freak billionaire. Now, between planning a bachelorette party and dodging stakes, Glory has to decide which man she really wants, before her love life meets an early grave...

 Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (scheduled for release August 2, 2011):  After Glory St. Clair kicked out the demon that had set up shop in her body, she had a serious fallout with longtime lover Jeremy Blade. But before Glory can win him back, she has some issues of the hellish variety to deal with.

When Lucifer himself offers Glory the ultimate temptation-work for the devil and he'll make her a size six-the curvy vampire's not sure if she can resist. But what Glory does know is that somehow, she's going to get back the man she loves and show everyone that real vampires always have more to love.

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 There is also an 8th installment, Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans, due out in April of 2012, but that's all the information I have on it right now.